AUSTRALIA v SOUTH AFRICA
WHEN Wallabies fullback Adam Ashley-Cooper thinks of his first Test, it's a case of football, meat pies, Wallabies and mad car drives.
Tomorrow Ashley-Cooper will return to Subiaco Oval, the scene of the most amazing Wallabies Test debut, delighted he will have plenty of time to prepare for his Test appearance, rather than a few seconds.
He was summoned from Sydney at the last minute to be on standby for the 2005 Springboks Test in Perth. Minutes before kick-off, Ashley-Cooper, believing he wouldn't be required, began contemplating a trip to the Subiaco Oval canteen with fellow squad member Matt Henjak. Then Wallabies five-eighth Elton Flatley suddenly lost his sight during the warm-up.
Ashley-Cooper takes up the story: "At the time, I was up in the grandstand sending piss-taking messages to all my mates and family, with a caption saying: 'How good's this. Tickets on halfway. A free weekend away in Perth. It doesn't get any better than this.'
"I was contemplating getting a Four'N Twenty Travellers pie and a beer. But as the boys were running back in, 'Flats' started to snake-dance in the warm-up. At that moment, I got the call from [Wallabies assistant manager] Chris Webb saying I had to get down the change rooms ASAP.
"When I got down there, he said: 'Get your boots on. You're going on. Flat's injured.'
"Luckily I had 78 minutes sitting on the bench, so that [fellow reserve] Chris Whitaker could talk me through all the calls, because I had basically no idea. He went through the whole call sheet with me, and then Clyde Rathbone came off, gave me a wink as if to say: 'This one's for you, buddy.'
"So I ran on, dropped the ball, and became the 800th Wallaby."
The trip west was almost as eventful.
"I was on the F3 when [coach] Eddie Jones rang and said: 'Yeah, g'day mate, Eddie here. What are you doing?' I told him I was on my way to club training. He replied: 'Well mate, you'll have to turn yourself around because you're got a flight to Perth in an hour.'
"I was thinking, 'Oh, hell, how am I going to get there on time?' So I did a U-turn in a non U-turn section, and fanged home to get my mum [Karen] to help me pack my gear.
"She began packing my suitcase, asking: 'What are you doing?' I told her I was going to Perth, and she kept asking me: 'What, church? What are you going to church for?'
"I said, 'No, WA. Perth.'
"She kept asking: 'Why are you going to church in WA?' "
He made the flight, and then sent his uncle and fellow Wallaby Graham Bond into match-day palpitations.
"It was all so weird, because my uncle Graham also debuted off the bench for the Wallabies, in Perth, against South Africa, and that finished in a draw. And ours was also almost a draw. So Graham was sitting at home thinking, 'Oh, geez, what's going on here?' "
After the Test, there were further complications.
"I didn't have my number ones, and as I had to receive my first cap, I had to look the part at the after-match function. Apparently, my casual gear at the time wasn't appropriate. So I did a complete changeover with [assistant coach] Scott Wisemantel. Perfect fit, showed up and got the cap.
"That's why it's a good feeling coming back here. Every time I come back I always look up at the area where I was sitting when I got the call. So that's why this is such a special match for me."
And with it all has emerged an important piece of trivia.
"A mate of mine rang me up and said that I was the only ever Wallaby to debut without a number on his back. He found that bit of information on the cap of a bottle of Tooheys New. I've now got that bottle top as a memento."
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