It might not seem like a big deal, but when you have a child with autism you cherish the moments other parents take for granted.

Aidan, 10, was diagnosed with autism while he was in kindergarten.

On good days Aidan laughs, sings along to the Wiggles and showers his parents with affection.

On bad days he can scream for hours.

Lately, the good days have outweighed the bad.

"Sunday was the first time we've been out for breakfast in three years," Mrs O'Connor said.

"We wouldn't have dreamed of doing that even six months ago."

Mrs O'Connor credits a cutting edge program called Relationship Development Intervention for Aidan's progress.

The O'Connors have been participating in the program with Nhill speech pathologist Fleta Pohlner for the past nine months.

Relationship Development Intervention is a targeted family-based relationship development program.

It aims to help individuals with autism form personal relationships by gradually strengthening the building blocks of social connections, which includes the ability to form an emotional bond and share experiences.

Mrs O'Connor said her family was completing the program remotely via Skype and a password-protected website.

She said Aidan received a different assignment each fortnight.

"Fleta gives us information and dot points to work through," she said.

"We film the activities and upload them and Fleta watches them and tells us how we went."

Mrs O'Connor said she and her husband completed separate activities with Aidan.

"At the moment Aidan and I sweep the floor together," she said.

"I tend to do a lot of household things with Aidan, because it's important to me he has those skills, whereas Sean does more 'fun' stuff, such as hammering nails out in the shed.

"Instead of us trying to get Aidan to talk the way we do, it's about trying to make him think about what he has to do.

"We can't use words when we are instructing him, we have to use movements and expressions - it's not easy getting someone to talk without using words."

Mrs O'Connor said she and her husband had to learn to be patient.

"Aidan's language is there when he wants it to be, but not necessarily when we want it to be," she said.

"Sean and I have had to learn to wait for his response, because Aidan's responses are slower than 'normal' children's."

Mrs O'Connor said Aidan's progress was outstanding.

"The difference in him is incredible," she said.

"All I have to do now is tell him we're going to do sweeping and he goes and gets the broom.

"Before, he would have fought me every step of the way, screaming at me because he didn't want to do it."

Mrs Pohlner is also pleased with Aidan's progress.

"He is much more engaged and less disruptive," she said.

"He seems to be able to do more everyday activities and he has matured."

Mrs Pohlner is delivering Relationship Development Intervention to five Wimmera families.

She worked with five other families last year while completing her final year of training.

Mrs Pohlner is one of four Victorians qualified for Relationship Development Intervention.

"I've always had an interest in people with autism, even before I became a speech pathologist 35 years ago," she said.

"Speech therapists are often the first port of call for parents.

"Even though we can't diagnose autism, we can suggest people consult a paediatrician if we have concerns about their behaviour or ability to communicate."

Mrs Pohlner's studies took her to the United States.

"I started looking into it by learning from books, but it wasn't enough, so I went to Texas," she said.

The program was developed by Texan psychologist Steven Gutstein.

"It's different from other methods, because you are working with dynamic thinking," Mrs Pohlner said.

"A lot of people with autism have trouble with change, but with Relationship Development Intervention we gradually expose the person to change through setting up a range of activities.

"We're finding it is very successful."

Mrs Pohlner said the program worked with family dynamics.

"You need both parents involved," she said. "Having the dad involved as well is very powerful and helps take the pressure off the mum.

"Single parents can do it as well, but it's better if they also involve someone close to them, such as a grandparent."

Siblings are brought into the process down the track.

Mrs O'Connor said Aidan's older brother Mathew, 12, would participate at some point.

"It's been great for our family and friends already, because they are commenting on Aidan's progress," she said.

"We subscribe to a website, so we can communicate with other families in Australia and overseas who are doing it too.

"The forum provides support, plus our family members can log on as well and see how Aidan is doing.

"They can learn how to communicate with him."

Mrs O'Connor said she would recommend the program to anyone with a child who had autism.

"I waited seven years for Aidan to say 'I love you, mum'. That still brings me to tears," she said.

"When Fleta first told us about Relationship Development Intervention we were sceptical.

"It's difficult to explain, it's a lot of hard work and it's not cheap but it's worth it.

"Plus, now I get my sweeping done."

* Mrs Pohlner said people could visit www.connectandrelateforautism.com.au for more information about autism and Relationship Development Intervention.

She said people could call her on 53974241 or email fletapohlner@bigpond.com for more information about her services.