I HAVE been getting cat-called since I was 14.

Car-loads of young men, and sometimes even adults, have done everything from honking to yelling obscenities at me when I go out in public.

Sometimes they’d do several passes, doing laps so they could shout some more.

It always throws me off, and often downright terrifies me.

The inescapable thought of ‘What if they do something worse’ is always in the back of my head.

All of this for doing nothing more than walking down the street.

Cat-calling is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how women are treated by male friends, strangers and society as a whole.

Most women you ask will have at least one readily available anecdote about a time when men have made them feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

These stories and their underlying causes have been brought to the forefront by the actions of Elliot Rodger, the young man who went on a murderous rampage in America on May 23, killing seven including himself.

Rodger’s YouTube videos and 147-page manifesto paint him as a boy who felt entitled to women’s bodies simply because he saw himself as a ‘wealthy, attractive man’.

He blamed other men for ‘stealing’ women from him, and the women themselves for not seeing him as a potential romantic partner.

So, he sought vengeance, and now six innocent lives are gone.

Rodger’s beliefs, while undoubtedly extreme, emphasise the fact that women are often seen by men as objects, or trophies to be won; and that these men feel entitled to a sort of ownership of women. 

All it takes is one glance at any advertisement aimed at men, to notice barely-clothed women thrown in as props alongside cars, holding the latest cologne and even promoting alcohol.

These ads tell you, “Look at what you deserve when you use these products,” and it has a trickle-down effect into our collective psyche.

It leads men to believe they are entitled to a woman’s body, time and attention.

Some of them try to approach women on the street, some hit on them in pubs, some send inappropriate messages on social networking and some cat-call.

If a woman doesn’t reciprocate these advances, some men get abusive and some get violent.

What these men need to realise is that women do not owe them anything. 

James Fell recently wrote a post on Good Men Project – goodmenproject.com – about this very thing: 

“Whether or not you get to have sex on a regular basis does not define you as a man.

"Dry spells are to be expected. You don’t get to blame women by calling them shallow or teases, and it’s not the fault of other men either.

"Life is not fair. Don’t punish others for your lot in life.’’

No matter what a woman is wearing, or what she is doing, she does not have to accept your attempts at conversation, no matter how innocent your intentions.

It seems harsh and a direct contradiction of what we have always been taught is ‘polite’, but if women are to be treated with respect, they must be given the right to agency and consent.

It’s okay to approach a woman you don’t know to try to speak to her, but be aware of the signals she is giving off.

If she seems uninterested, do not continue to push her.

"Don’t touch women you don’t know, don’t send unsolicited raunchy photos, and don’t get angry with her if she turns you down.

Women deserve to feel safe, and shouldn’t be assaulted or killed simply for being women.

A massive culture shift needs to take place, and the more on board the better.