Grief is a natural response to loss. It might be the loss of a loved one, relationship, miscarriage, pet, job or way of life. Other experiences of loss may be due to children leaving home, infertility and separation from friends and family. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief is likely to be.

Grief is expressed in many ways and it can affect every part of your life; your emotions, thoughts and behaviour, beliefs, physical health, your sense of self and identity, and your relationships with others. Grief can leave you feeling sad, angry, anxious, shocked, regretful, relieved, overwhelmed, isolated, irritable or numb. Grief has no set pattern, and everyone experiences it differently. Some people may grieve for weeks and months, while other’s grief may last for years. Through the process of grief however you begin to create new experiences and habits that work around your loss.

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Allow yourself to grieve and heal

• Grieve your way. No one can tell you how to feel.

• Understand that grief takes time. Expect that you will sometimes find yourself surprised by how you are feeling.

• Express how you feel to someone you trust. Talk using words that are comfortable and have meaning to you and don’t be afraid to share your emotions; your tears, anger, relief etc.

• Honour your loss. It might be by writing a journal of memories, writing letters, treasuring precious possessions, planting a tree, writing a song; whatever feels meaningful to you.

• Be prepared for difficult events that trigger your memories and sadness. This may happen on anniversaries, birthdays, reunions or perhaps when you see particular reminders of what you have lost.

• Take one step at a time. 

Grief is something that takes time to work through. While everyone finds their own way to grieve it is important to have the support of friends and family or someone else, and to talk about your loss when you need to. Take care of your physical health. Grieving can be exhausting so it is important to eat a healthy diet, exercise and sleep. 

Do things you enjoy, even if you don’t really feel like doing them.

Many people do not know what to say or do when trying to comfort someone who is grieving. However, often it is the simple offer of love and support that is the most important.

Encourage them to get help if their grief does not seem to be easing over time. 

If you notice that depression symptoms continue, or your grief begins to get in the way of how you live, work, share relationships or live day-to-day then you it is important to get support or professional help.