Bit of an awkward moment at a shop last week. Ten-year-old Tiani found she was locked into a set of handcuffs.
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“Mummy, look at these, we used to have some of these. Do you want me to put them on you?”
“No thanks sweetie, we’ve got to get going to piano now.” Click, snap.
“OK honey, they look like fun, but take them off now please, it’s nearly 4pm.
“Was there a key with them? No?”
Twist, push, poke, closely examine. Turn over, squint, frown, no escape.
“We’ll go to the shop counter and ask for help, I’m sure this happens all the time.”
“No, no, no. I can squeeze my hands out, I know I can.” Blushing, giggling.
Endless drawn out seconds of inspection, eons of assessment and investigation, eternities of exclamations of both optimism and angst.
Still secured in shackles. Facing Kannamaroo, Carols By Candlelight and Christmas in cuffs.
“Excuse me, we’ve got a bit of a problem. Tiani has locked herself into these handcuffs and we can’t get them off.
“She has a piano lesson soon and it’s going to be very difficult to play her pieces with these on.”
“Well, I have a hacksaw out the back, we could cut them off about here at the wrist – would that help?
“Only kidding, but I did used to butcher meat. There is usually a key with them. No key? Hmmm, let’s see.
“I saved some ladies once who had been locked in a shower block for two hours, this should be a breeze compared to that.”
Push, turn, click. “There you go.” Freedom.
Without my girls, awkward moments might be so few and far between, and mortifying public assertions might not even unfold at gala events.
“Mummy, is champagne like apple juice?” Scrutinising intently.
“Champagne is the same colour as apple juice, but it’s made from grapes instead.”
“The bubbles look lovely. Can I please have some?” Embarrassment, smiles.
“No angel, it’s alcoholic, so only grown-ups can drink it.”
“Why would you spoil yummy grape juice by putting alcohol in it? Katianna should be able to have some because she’s 13.”
“Katianna’s 14, Tiani. She says she’s not having alcohol until she’s 25, and I support that.” Hope, joy, love.
Yolande Grosser