Most people describe marriage as ‘imprisonment’, and your marriage partner as a ‘ball and chain’. Both describe marriage as something that reduces your freedom. But I think marriage has a silver lining because a good marriage actually gives you more freedom.

I gained freedom in our marriage relationship. When I shared this idea with my husband he replied, ‘With freedom comes responsibility’.  Spouses can actively support each other when one is carrying an overwhelming burden. 

The linking of freedom and responsibility is part of our vision of becoming a part of Christ’s family. 

To paraphrase, the Bible says: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will witness to the way of Christ.”

And, “each other should carry their own load.” [Gal 6:2&5]  When you marry, you take on the responsibility or burden of loving your spouse deeply and caring for him or her as no other. 

We expect to find both elements of ‘freedom’ and ‘responsibility’ in our relationships with one another. God has given us freedom and we give it to each other. A good relationship allows each to grow and maintain their individuality. For individuals to grow they must have the freedom to change, while living within a secure relationship that supports them. Both will be enriched by the mutual commitment. 

When I think back over the 25 years of marriage, I realise that I have become a better person for being in a relationship with my husband. 

I am growing to be more like the qualities I admire in him. And our differences help balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses out. 

And in terms of the rough times, we invite God into our marriage to be our silver lining.