THE Wimmera's out-of-home care providers say they need more help for foster children long-term.
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Uniting Wimmera's Phil Yew said the organisation had 40 households with children living in foster care arrangements - about a quarter of which were in Horsham and the others within a two-hour drive of the city.
The out-of-home care manager said while the organisation currently had enough carers, recruiting new households to replace those who retire was difficult.
"You don't have as many people potentially inquiring," Mr Yew said.
Mr Yew estimated 10 per cent of people who made inquiries to Uniting Wimmera went on to become carers.
Member for Lowan Emma Kealy wrote to Child Protection Minister Luke Donnellan earlier this month to express her concern about long delays in transferring children from temporary to permanent care.
Mr Yew said Uniting Wimmera saw this problem from time to time.
"In those situations, foster carers are asked to take care of a child for longer than originally requested. This is made due to several factors within the sector, including the availability of long-term carers," he said.
Mr Yew said having sufficient long-term carers was crucial to a child's experience with the foster care system.
"If a person has had five changes of placements, that's potentially five different schools, five different communities. There isn't that stability of growing up in the one area," he said.
Mr Yew said the public perception of fostering was often either a "hard slog" to "manage troubled children", or the vision he sometimes saw sold in advertising of "perfect" family life.
"There is an element of sacrifice, and it can be life-changing, but many carers say it's been a rewarding experience," he said.
"Particularly when they see the positive impact of the effect they have had on the young person's life despite those challenges and through the good days and bad."
Mr Yew said his job afforded him many proud moments - including when former foster children went on to build lives for themselves.
"I know a young aboriginal lady who has been able to leave care and successfully study in Melbourne and become a hairdresser," he said.
"Others have left care and are working in communities in the Wimmera in trades and apprenticeships."
Mr Yew also endorsed the state government's Home Stretch initiative, which will see 250 young people across Victoria have their care extended by three years until they turn 21.
"I think it's a step in the right direction," he said.
"Ultimately, supporting someone until they're 21 would reflect our society.
"Often young people are staying at home later than what they were 20 or 30 years ago."
Another out-of-home care group based in Melbourne, Berry Street, is looking to expand its complement of five Wimmera households offering long-term care in response to a growing need.
William Laird, Berry Street's team leader of western Victoria case management services, said the organisation had been in the region for four years. He said options for out-of-home care were limited.
"If someone goes into out-of-home care in Melbourne, there is a great likelihood they will be in a placement operated out of the same departmental office their parents would be associated with, and close to their parents," he said.
"If you go into out-of-home care in Horsham, your closest placement might be in Ballarat, and it can be very difficult to maintain a connection to the family."
Mr Laird said foster carers did not have to be from a "traditional" family.
"We want a diverse range of households," he said.
An enduring relationship
Emily's relationship with her foster family began several years before they took on this pivotal role in her life.
The man who became the Horsham woman's foster father worked as a teacher at the school she attended.
"I came from a pretty bad environment, hitting and stuff," Emily* said.
"He would have seen me at school, and I think my behaviour from year seven to year eight changed because my treatment at home got worse at the end of the year. I think he opted to have me in his house as he was a foster carer and saw what I was going through."
Emily was placed in out-of-home care just before she turned 15. She left an abusive mother first for a kinship program, then a girls' home before being connected with her foster family.
The state government's Better Health Channel said it was natural for children who have dealt with trauma and are placed in out-of-home care to display very complex behaviours.
Common problems include withdrawing from those around them and defying authority.
Emily said she remembered feeling scared and untrusting of the new household at first.
"I didn't care what they thought," she said. "But then after gaining a really good relationship with them, I respected them a lot more.
"They gave me homeschooling when school got too hard, and we went on family holidays, and they had their little six-month-old daughter who I helped take care of."
"You just have to go in with an open mind even after all the stuff you've been through."
While stigma shown towards young people living in foster care arrangements is an ongoing issue nationwide, Emily said she hadn't experienced this.
"My foster dad remained my teacher," she said. "My situation at home wasn't private, and no one was nasty about it."
It has been several years since Emily left foster care, since which she has found a job, a unit with the help of Uniting's Leaving Care program and had a child with her long-term partner.
She said she lived with her mother again after her placement ended, but only briefly after the fighting restarted.
Emily said there was "no chance" of her relationship with her estranged mother improving, but she has not lost contact with the family that helped her.
"I'm still very close with my foster parents," she said. "I hang out with them and they look after my child. I borrowed their car last week because mine broke down, we're pretty much there all the time. They're still family in my eyes, and their kids love me."
- Emily's name has been changed for privacy reasons.
- If you have concerns about vulnerable children, contact Child FIRST on 1800 195 114, the Child Protection Helpline on 13 21 11, or the police child abuse unit on 5382 9241; for family violence counselling, contact 1800 RESPECT.
A 'life-changing' decision
Seven years ago, Christine, a single mother living in a Wimmera town, made a choice.
Though she and her partner had separated three months after her son was born, she was determined for him not to miss out on the experience of having siblings. So she turned to foster care.
"I wanted a way to include children in my life, and it just so happened there was a full-page ad in the local paper promoting foster care and the benefits, and I thought it was something I could do," Christine said.
Now 44, she has helped more than 35 children - both respite and long-term.
"Respite is a great way to start," Christine said. "I provided some relief for foster carers, and I had children come and stay for school holidays or over weekends. It was a lovely way to meet a variety of children and make the weekends lots of fun, and that was what I had a lot of for the first couple of years."
While Christine said she had received "fabulous" support, fostering was still a challenge at times.
"You have this little human being you want to love and help, but they can be difficult to reach sometimes. You have to persevere so you can break down those barriers, build up that trust and develop a relationship," she said.
Christine said one of the methods to cross this bridge was to parent playfully.
"You're accepting and curious of the child and show empathy," she said.
"You might be completely freaked out by their behaviour, but you have to accept this the way they are feeling at the moment. Then be curious as to why they feel and behave that way."
Christine said her son had benefited from the decision.
"He has a better understanding of some of the adversities children can experience, and I believe it has brought out a more caring nature in him," she said.
"We have had challenges, though. I've found I can't have children of similar age to him because there have been clashes."
Christine said her life had changed as a result of fostering.
She hopes to be a carer for another 20 years, has completed a bachelor's degree in psychological science and will begin a graduate certificate in developmental trauma in March - out of a desire to better understand the children she fosters.
"I've found I've been able to provide as much love and support to children as a two-parent family," she said.
"I have my mother who is closely involved, and a brother and sister in law who have stepped into aunty and uncle roles.
"I can think of three or four children off the top of my head who still refer to my mum as 'grandma'. It creates these bonds and relationships with other people that are healthy for these kids."