When I was younger, one of the punishments used was "the cold shoulder".
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It was emotional and physical disconnection that communicated to me I had done the wrong thing; I'd gone too far and needed to learn a lesson.
When I married my gorgeous wife, I brought this thinking into our marriage. If Narelle did something that I didn't like, I would give her the cold shoulder.
For a long time, we said we didn't fight ... which was true. We didn't fight, but neither did we communicate in a healthy way. We just disconnected, waited 'til the storm had passed then resumed our relationship. It wasn't healthy!
At some point early in our children's lives, we realised there had to be a better way. It took a long time for me to see that there was a better way to deal with hurt, pain and disagreement. Disconnection can be unhealthy and destructive. It can take some level of courage and vulnerability to be open and honest and say: "I'm hurting. What you did hurt me."
However, the slight discomfort that comes in those moments of brave communication far outweighs the pain and discomfort that come through disconnection.
We know the importance of human touch in the survival and development of a newborn. Numerous studies have shown the detrimental effects of solitary confinement on a prisoner, isolated from all human contact.
We are made for connection. We are made to be in community, to know and be known. It can be easy to think we know somebody because we know some things about them. We see snippets on social media, we catch up every now and then and get an update on life. But how well do we know the people in our lives, those we spend time with, day after day, week after week?
From the beginning, God made man and woman to be in relationship with one another, so that we would not be alone. It is part of His design that we live in community: knowing, support and encouraging one another. Isolation is a horrible alternative.