I know it's nearly Christmas when I have brandy and duck fat on my shopping list.
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I know it's nearly Christmas when my 15 year old messes up my kitchen cooking gingerbread, while blasting the house with Bing Crosby Christmas carols on her iPad then decorates her little men to look like Donald Trump with gorgeous swept back flowing blonde hair.
I know it's nearly Christmas when I finally trim the natives in the garden because they are encroaching on the lawn and ripping me to shreds when I mow.
I know it's nearly Christmas when I want to catch up with everyone I know for a one-on-one since I realise that I was thinking the very same thing this time last year and I still haven't made it happen.
I know it's nearly Christmas when I shame certain offspring into cleaning their bedrooms by demanding what they think my mother, sister, or girlfriend would say if they saw it in that condition. Of course, these people wouldn't give a hoot about anyone's bedroom because they'd be in the kitchen with me drinking champagne or tonic water spritzed with lime, but one must try.
... I shame certain offspring into cleaning their bedrooms by demanding what they think my mother, sister, or girlfriend would say if they saw it in that condition. Of course, these people wouldn't give a hoot about anyone's bedroom
I know it's nearly Christmas when I ask my husband quite complicated questions about how much crop still has to come off, calculating that harvest will run into the big day and our menfolk will be hard pressed to take the day off.
I know it's nearly Christmas when I'm singing carols loudly.
I know it's nearly Christmas when the supermarket keeps asking me if I want to redeem my Christmas bonus on this shop, but as I've only got detergent and toilet paper in my basket I want to save it up for a trolley full of blanched almonds, cream cheese and dark chocolate.
I know it's nearly Christmas when I re-commandeer the fridge in the shed, bringing it back under my jurisdiction for the month of December.
I know it's nearly Christmas when I accidentally fill my trolley with $444 worth of goodies and am forced to redeem my $120 bonus.
I know it's nearly Christmas when I have "mop the deck" on my "to do" list for the day, either that or it's time to head for the high seas.