Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to self-isolation autumn 2020.
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Please take your seats, strap yourselves in and we'll get this session underway.
Don't bother looking for your nearest exits - there won't be any for the foreseeable future.
No sooner had my three teens dumped their school bags anywhere they liked around the house after their last day of term, than the youngest was stepping into her first-ever online class.
I didn't foresee that she would be neatly tying the ribbons on her pink satin pointe shoes for a ballet lesson in her bedroom.
I know that all communication devices should be kept out of that room and a parent should be present for any interactions - but my dancer was feeling uncertain, and besides, I could recognise all of her classmates by their teeny tiny pictures on the screen. Within a couple of days in our brave new world, my year 12 student had met with her school careers advisor alone at her desk, attended her English literature class at that same study centre, and spent time chatting in Spanish with her fellow language students to practice orals, in that unchanged multi-purpose room.
The importance of creating a variety of suitable work spaces has already emerged, so nook development is under way!
When deciding where to attend my two-hour evening school council meeting, I went with the kitchen so I could make a cuppa or duck into the bathroom if necessary.
With all three daughters well fed and keen to avoid the dishes, there was no-one fighting to get to the kitchen sink, so I was assured of being undisturbed.
For a three-hour regional conference the following morning, I chose a comfy chair tucked into the corner of the spare bedroom, well away from the noise of the household.
For a three-hour regional conference the following morning, I chose a comfy chair tucked into the corner of the spare bedroom, well away from the noise of the household.
It turns out that connecting with people remotely is tiring, taking more energy to share thoughts and gain understanding when you are not in the same room physically. I had a headache for the rest of the day.
We are going to have to ease into this remote learning and life business, and be kind to ourselves and each other.
Ironically, in isolation we are forced to realise how interdependent we all are. Going it alone is out of vogue.