I'm not saying we're a mess as a family now that Katianna is studying in Melbourne.
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I'm just saying that immediately on arriving home after delivering her to the student residence, Kym needed to touch-up the varnish on the cross marking Buster's grave and sighed, "First Buster, now Katianna."
No, she's not dead, but we know life will never be the same again.
I'm not saying I'm a mess now that the first person in the world who allowed me to be her mother has left town.
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It's just that I slept in her bed last night because we watched a scary movie and her sisters wanted me close.
I'm not saying we're a mess with Katianna away in Kew.
It's just that the carbonara she made had so much bacon in it I couldn't throw out the leftovers for days even though it was hogging a whole shelf in the fridge.
I'm not saying I'm a mess with fewer people lounging in our lounge room, but when Kym brought home a four-pack of iced-doughnuts, and that was enough for one each, I was not too fond of the fact we don't need five of everything now.
I'm not saying Katianna's sisters are a mess with her leaving home for university, but our 'L' plater was allowed to have her mobile phone in her bedroom for the first time ever because she couldn't rest before texting her big sister and getting a 'good night' response.
I'm not saying I'm a mess now that the first person in the world who allowed me to be her mother has left town.
I'm not saying Tiani is a mess with her biggest sister setting-up a new bedroom in the city, but she is wearing Katianna's fluffy yellow bathrobe down to breakfast each morning.
I'm not saying seventeen-year-old Yasinta is a mess with her big sister moving out because she's up in the eldest's wardrobe right now claiming anything our uni-student couldn't squeeze into her jumbo, oversize, gigantic suitcase.
I can hear furniture being dragged from one bedroom to another.
I'm not saying I'm a mess now that one of my daughters lives independently from me because last night she texted, 'I hope everyone isn't still depressed because that would make me sad.
'I don't want you guys to be unhappy, I'm not.'
Messy me caught those apron strings as they were tidily tossed back to me.