I came a cropper in the school car park last Thursday afternoon, destroying a pair of stockings and damaging my dignity and my right knee, which deposited quite an impressive amount of flesh onto the stony bitumen.
I was rushing of course, and have no one to blame but myself.
Although my seventeen-year-old daughter does get cranky with the half hour turn around from school to her part-time bakery job on a Thursday afternoon, and I was trying to keep the peace by being early.
Dan had just called another snap lockdown, or was strongly rumoured to be on the warpath, so I was discombobulated, had grabbed various items from my desk and was rewriting my future in my head as I rushed along overloaded mentally, emotionally, and physically.
This imbalance became very visible as I found myself sprawled across the sealed surface of the car park with my neat little beret flipped over my face.
A very kind teenager helped pick me up and encouraged me as I limped to my car pretending not to be in excruciating pain.
It would be terrific if what happened next could be blamed on either the lockdown announcement or the ghastly gash of bleeding flesh along my leg, but I don't think that would be entirely fair.
Immediately after getting my seventeen-year-old to work and my fifteen-year-old to ballet, and just before picking them up again in reverse, I stuffed myself with six crumpets smothered in butter and honey and five Tim Tam biscuits then consumed two very hot cups of strong tea to wash it all down.
This made me feel pretty sick, but better.
Could I claim to have been in shock?
I don't know, but I'm definitely finding that global pandemics can be very costly on the waistline.
That may be the only way I can put a positive spin on the fact that the 80th Birthday lunch of the best mother in the world had to be cancelled yesterday.
Happy Birthday for today to Rosalie E. Colbert, Nhill.
I simply cannot believe that this incredibly active contributor to our community - who recently bought herself another pair of skinny jeans - could have such a seriously mature number attached to her being.
Happy 80th Birthday Mum.
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