How to support children with autism during lockdown | Comment

While it's challenging for us all to perform the juggling act with our kids at home, spare a thought for the extra levels of stress that parents or carers with loved ones on the spectrum are facing.

I am one of those parents, and would like to offer some encouragement to us all during this uncertain time.

There is a saying in the Autism community "If you know one person with autism, you know one person with autism". This illustrates the highly diverse range of behaviours, traits and personalities that people on the spectrum display, just like everyone else.

This means that things that will work well for some, will not work at all for others during isolation. You know your kids better than anyone else, and a bit of experimenting with what works and doesn't may be required. If you can sense that a strategy is leading to a potential meltdown, stop and re-evaluate your approach.

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Showing your kids loads of love is the most important thing right now. If that is the one thing you achieve during this time, give yourself a big pat on the back. Now is not the time to attempt to dramatically modify behaviour, or introduce challenging new concepts. Keep it simple, and focus on the things that you need to change to help your loved one cope with the situation.

This time has led to massive changes in routines, and significant changes to routines can be very overwhelming for someone on the spectrum. There may be shortages of their preferred foods, or they may be limited in taking part in their usual leisure activities. Try to come up with some alternatives to tide them over, and don't be afraid to put it out there if you need assistance in sourcing their favourite foods (if they have limited food choices).

Going to school can be difficult during normal times for our kids on the spectrum, but throw in video-based or self-paced learning and you have a whole new load of issues to overcome. The need to be looking at a screen for hours on end can be exhausting for all of us, but adds extra strain for those on the spectrum. You can assist with this by easing your child into the concept, and not expecting them to keep it up for the whole school day.

In my house, my teenage son can manage until about 1pm, which is then free or downtime. Make a flexible timetable, take lots of breaks and change things up if needed. If they are stressed out with maths, try getting them in the kitchen to prepare lunch or bake some cupcakes. There is a load of maths in recipes. Get them onto a treasure hunt in the garden. Try a yoga or dance session in the lounge room. There are loads of ways to make learning fun and relieve stress.

Remember, you are not expected to be a super-hero and recognising your own needs is important during this difficult time. Look out for the signs of exhaustion and burnout, as you need to be fit and well mentally to take of yourself and to support your family. Some signs may be problems sleeping, changes in appetite and weight, feelings of sadness or significant changes in your reactions, moods or behaviour. These are red flags that you shouldn't ignore.

Believe in yourself, try and share the load with others, if possible, and seek help if needed. LifeLine 131114, Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 and Kids Helpline 1800 551 800.

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